Divorce can be a destructive force in your life, and we understand why you would want the excitement and magic that comes with a new relationship. Nevertheless, you should wait until your case is finalized to start seeing other people.
Not only can patience in this matter benefit your ability to settle your case, but it can also allow you time to heal emotionally and be the best version of yourself in future romantic endeavors.
When your spouse finds out you are dating someone new, they will likely have an emotional reaction regardless of the circumstances. If your spouse is upset with you, your chances of settling your case amicably decrease dramatically. Additionally, day-to-day interactions with your spouse will become much more difficult, even if these difficulties are based on emotional strain alone.
Alimony & Spousal Support
When separating from your spouse affects your financial stability, you may be awarded alimony or spousal maintenance to offset the impact of your divorce. If you start dating or living with someone before this award is finalized, those responsible for deciding your case might examine the financial situation of your new partner. Not only does this put your love interest in an uncomfortable situation, but it can eliminate your chances of alimony altogether!
Dividing property is a difficult component of a divorce even without a third party complicating the process. If you and your spouse are already fighting over a couch, for example, imagine how much more passionate they will be about that couch if they imagine your new boyfriend or girlfriend sitting on it.
As many divorce attorneys will tell you, fights about property are frequently inspired by fights about something else. A fight about furniture is rarely a fight about furniture and is more likely a fight about something that occurred before, during, or after your marriage.
If you have children, they should be your number 1 reason to wait until after your divorce to start dating. Divorce is a time of instability and fear for children and introducing a new partner during this time sets the relationship between your partner and your child(ren) up for failure from the beginning.
Additionally, your spouse is less likely to allow you to spend time with your child(ren) if they imagine a new boyfriend or girlfriend in the picture. The last thing you want when negotiating a parenting arrangement is your soon-to-be-ex feeling like they’ve already been replaced.
Your romantic interest’s behavior and character can also be considered during any custody battles you are facing. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has any criminal activity on their record, you may lose your right to custody overall.
If you have kids, focus the time and attention you would have spent pursuing or dating someone into caring for them. This will build your case for custody and it might even impress your spouse – either scenario results in more times with your little one(s)! This special attention can also help your child(ren) cope with a difficult time, which in itself is worth the effort.
All too often, new relationships distract us from coming to terms with a break-up or divorce and making ourselves better as people and partners. If you avoid dating while going through a divorce, you will have more time to take care of yourself and address your feelings. Someone going through a divorce is never the best version of themselves, but someone who has learned from past mistakes and developed healthy coping mechanisms absolutely is!
Keep Your Proceedings As Smooth As Possible
Saving dating for after your divorce is better for you, your spouse, your future partner, and especially your child(ren).
It can also help you and your soon-to-be-ex handle your divorce with dignity and remain amicable through the process. Without third-party interference, mediation may even be an option for you!