So this is it. You’re getting a divorce. Realistically, there was about a 45% chance that this would happen if this is your first marriage. If this is your second or third marriage, that percentage is even higher. Maybe these statistics make you feel better, maybe they don’t. The point is: don’t be so hard on yourself. In fact, while you’re celebrating the nation’s freedom this month, challenge yourself to find freedom through the divorce process. Your feelings of regret, sadness, and possibly even anger are all valid and reasonable, but it’s okay to want to look forward, too. Instead of thinking of your divorce as an ending, think of it as a new beginning where you can discover a new sense of freedom in various aspects of your life.
Freedom From An Unfulfilling Relationship
Freedom from your unfulfilling – possibly even vicious – relationship could lead you to a place in which you prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It has been proven that unhealthy relationships lead to higher amounts of stress and anxiety, which in turn could lead to more serious medical problems. When you take a deeper look into the cause of your stress and anxiety, you may find that your relationship has contributed to your growing feelings of helplessness, fear, insecurity, paranoia, and a low sense of self-worth. Now that you have freedom from that harmful environment, you can allow yourself to put your needs first.
Start by making small changes, such as implementing a self-care routine that will benefit your mind and body. Talk therapy may be a productive way to begin healing your emotional damage. You could also try performing daily aspirations, meditating, or listening to self-help podcasts. Make healthy choices for your physical well-being, such as exercising, eating better, and getting your recommended daily water intake. Finally, try not to use drugs or alcohol as a way to cope, as these may only create more problems for you along the way.
Freedom In Self-Discovery
Now is the time to rediscover who it is you are as an individual. Many people don’t realize how much of an influence their spouse has had on their interests, hobbies, and aspirations. Have you ever taken the time to consider whether or not you were really living authentically? If not, now is the time.
After divorce, you may be surprised to find that you have more time to yourself than you anticipated. Perhaps you never realized just how much time you were devoting to your spouse through housework, errands, managing the finances, being the more active parent, or other means. Use your newfound free time to discover new activities and rediscover old ones you have put on the backburner. Maybe there is a stack of books on your nightstand that you’ve been meaning to read, or a local yoga studio you’ve been planning to visit. Whatever it may be, give yourself room to explore the things that make you happy and see how this can make a difference in moving forward after your divorce.
Freedom To Build The Future You Desire
Once you begin to think of your divorce as a new beginning, you’ll realize that you can build the future you really want – not just the one you’re settling for. Now may be an opportune time to begin working toward your goals and desires. This may look like a simple step forward – taking a class or enrolling in a course. It may also look like a big step – going back to school or going after a new position in your career. Perhaps you even want to change course and pursue a whole new career path!
The future you want for yourself may even involve someday finding love again. Don’t let your divorce turn you into a person who is bitter or resentful. Taking time to be alone is okay, but so is wanting to belong in a fulfilling relationship. Keep your mind open, but remain focused on the characteristics you need from a partner in order to feel supported and fulfilled.
Freedom From The Traditionally Toxic Divorce Process
It is a myth that your divorce must include lots of arguments, legal attacks, and confrontations. Whether your divorce is ending amicably or not, you do not have to let yourself become a victim to a toxic divorce process. It can be especially important to keep this period of time as placid as possible if you have children and want them to be left out of the issues you have with your partner. Here are several ways to end your marriage without the vitriol:
Make sure your divorce attorney understands your goals. Hopefully, you’ve chosen a lawyer who actually treats you like a person – not a case number. The attorney you choose will have a major influence on the outcome of your divorce, so be clear about what it is you want, what you are willing to compromise on, and what are your absolute deal-breakers.
Try mediation if you are both open to it. Divorce mediation can reduce the delays in court proceedings, help you anticipate and address potential disputes, and allow you and your former partner to find creative solutions in a productive manner.
Don’t sink to their level. If your former partner has resorted to petty or spiteful behavior, you can choose to take the high road. It may be hard, but taking their bait may cause more problems for you in the long run. Allow your attorney to do their job and stand up for you and your interests.
Let Hembree Bell Law Firm, PLLC, Play A Part In Your Journey To Freedom
The freedom that awaits you starts with choosing the right firm to guide you through your divorce: us. We understand the difficult decision you’ve had to make in choosing to end your marriage. However, you should be able to create the life you deserve. Our attorneys want to put you in the best position to be able to do that. We don’t believe in a “one-size-fits-all” approach; we take the time to hear your concerns and build a strategy that meets your unique needs. Call today to schedule your free case evaluation and let us lead you to freedom!
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