Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but it’s even harder when you have regrets about how you handled things.

The outcome of your divorce will have a ripple effect on your life for years to come. Everything from your finances, to your living arrangements, co-parenting dynamics (if you share children), social relationships, and more will likely be impacted by some aspect of the way your marriage ended. If you’ve never been through a divorce, you may feel like you’re flying blind, or have some preconceived notions about what you think are the best choices.

However, we’ve worked with so many post-divorce clients who ended up with results they weren’t satisfied with and regret some of the ill-advised choices they made. We want to help you do it right the first time, and get the outcome that puts you in the best position moving forward. In this blog, we’ll tell you what those regrets are and how you can avoid being tormented by the past in your post-divorce future!

Not Seeking Legal Counsel Early Enough.

Many people put off speaking with a divorce attorney early-on because they don’t want to face the reality that their marriage is over, are hoping their spouse will change their mind, or are trying to work on the relationship, only to regret it later on.

The misconception that far too many individuals operate under is that speaking with a divorce attorney means that the divorce is inevitable, when really, the purpose is to be informed about your options, as well as how the process works, just in case. In fact, it can be empowering, and give you peace of mind that no matter what happens, you are prepared.

Moreover, attempting to begin working out informal agreements without consulting a lawyer first – like custody arrangements or property division – can have unexpected legal effects down the road. While this initial meeting may be emotionally overwhelming, it presents an opportunity for you to ask all of your burning questions, which may actually bring you some level of comfort.

Settling Because You Want It All To Be Over And Done. 

Divorce is emotionally, mentally, and financially draining, but you shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that how your marriage ends will have an effect on your life for years to come. While you may be tired and so ready to move on with your life, you shouldn’t allow yourself to settle for anything just because you want it to be done and over with. This is another of the most common regrets that post-divorcees face later on.

If you weren’t getting what you wanted through mediation, collaboration, or negotiation, going to trial may give you that chance. While there’s no guarantee of success, you and your attorney may feel that you have a strong enough case to get the court to rule in your favor. Even if you don’t get the outcome you want, you can feel confident moving forward that you did everything you could, and not have to live with regrets about the past.

Rushing The Process.

Similarly, you will likely regret rushing the process, too. Though it might seem improbable, there is always a small chance that you and your spouse will choose to reconcile and call the divorce off. This is rare, but a rushed divorce will make everything much more complicated.

It also takes a considerable amount of time to account for all of the assets that you and your spouse have together. When you are in a hurry, there is a greater chance of missing some entirely, which could mean going back to the negotiating table after your divorce has already been finalized, or giving them up altogether.

Finally, your attorney needs ample time to gather all the information they need to build a solid case on your behalf, and give you the best chance at the results you want. It is important to give them the time they need to compile evidence and plan a strategy; otherwise, neither of you will be as prepared as you should be.

Falling For Your Ex’s Threats.

If your spouse is especially vindictive, they may resort to threatening you in order to get their way in the divorce. The most common threats usually have to do with the children, but they may also attempt to lie about assets or even make false allegations of child abuse or domestic violence. You must not fall for it!

It’s imperative that you relay any of this information to your attorney, as they have a better understanding of the law and how to use it. If your spouse is engaging in unreasonable or even unlawful tactics in the divorce, it may end up working in your favor. You do not have to tolerate their threats or lies, and you definitely don’t have to let them hurt you!

Holding On To The Marital Home When You Shouldn’t Have.

It’s understandable to want to keep ownership of the home you owned with your spouse, because there are likely a lot of emotional ties there, especially if you share children and it’s where they spent a significant amount of their lives. However, the home you owned together is often your largest asset, as well as your largest debt, therefore you must consider whether keeping it is in your best interests when it comes to affordability, tax implications, and the emotional and social impact. Unfortunately, many divorcees who fought to keep their marital home end up regretting it later. So, it’s crucial to listen to the advice of your attorney, as they can often provide an objective, professional opinion after so many years of experience.

Listening To Everyone BUT Your Attorney.

And on that note, the number one regret you don’t want to have later is that you listened to the advice of too many people who aren’t your divorce attorney. Yes, your father’s cousin’s friend’s co-worker may have also gone through divorce and maybe they do have some wisdom that they can impart on you, but you shouldn’t be trusting their word over your attorney’s.

At Hembree Bell, we only want the best for you and your family, so you can trust that when we give you legal advice, it’s because we know how to get you the results you want. We have decades of collective experience and our founder, Hannah Hembree Bell, even has her own personal experience. She created this firm, after battling her way through her own divorce, to guide others down the path they need to live their fullest life. Now, we want to help you do the same.

Call today to schedule your free case evaluation and learn more about how we can bring you to your new life with no regrets!

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